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Friday | 28 November 2008 | 11:18 AM
God Save the UK
Well, well, well. The UK's slow, dismal descent in to an authoritarian state has been well documented over the years, but with the arrest of Damian Green, events have taken a surreal and sinister turn. Unless Mr Green turns out...
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Tuesday | 22 July 2008 | 02:46 PM
The Midwich Tabby
Felines and flash photography are a recipe for evil....
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Monday | 7 April 2008 | 09:08 PM
Daisy
Grace is still missing, and our best guess is that she soldiered off on some adventure of her own devising. Romance and swashbuckle, I like to think. Maybe she'll deign to come back and tell us about it; we live...
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Thursday | 6 March 2008 | 04:48 PM
Welcome to Bodmin...
This was the rather disconcerting sight Phil and I were presented with when we arrived at the cottage in Cornwall for our week of doing nothing. I don't know about you, but I always like to begin a holiday...
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Thursday | 21 February 2008 | 04:39 PM
Westward Ho!
I'm off to Cornwall for a week to find the legendary Beast of Bodmin. See you in March....
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Friday | 8 February 2008 | 11:36 PM
How to stitch up an Archbishop
I like Rowan Williams. Even if I don't always agree with him, he's an intelligent and honest man who thinks things through deeply. So I was flummoxed when I heard on the BBC that he had called for a parallel...
Posted by slowdown at 11:36 PM
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Tuesday | 1 January 2008 | 10:56 PM
Revision Break
Three weeks until my exams so me and Grace are hitting the books. Back in February......
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Friday | 21 December 2007 | 08:40 PM
Bah. Humbug.
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Thursday | 6 December 2007 | 09:51 PM
Something to remember
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely...
Posted by slowdown at 9:51 PM
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Thursday | 29 November 2007 | 06:10 PM
Follow the money...
Earlier in the week, Labour MP and misdirection expert Denis MacShane appeared on the Today programme to discuss the current party donation furore. As part of his usual dazzling display of spin, he turned on the Electoral Commission (who weren't...
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Friday | 16 November 2007 | 11:55 AM
Territorial Disputes
Poor Jack. Since I last mentioned him, he's become so much more trusting of us all.Although he's still bewilderingly peculiar, in his own autistic way he manages to give and get some affection from one of us each day. Last...
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Friday | 2 November 2007 | 10:50 PM
A comforting thought
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Thursday | 1 November 2007 | 01:01 PM
ID cards opposition is growing
So now both Lib Dem leadership candidates and the Tories are firmly anti-ID cards. If they stick to their guns, hopefully it will force Gordon Brown to actually make a decent case for their introduction (unlikely), or abandon the whole...
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Happy Hallowe'en
No pumpkin today - this is last year's....
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Wednesday | 31 October 2007 | 10:33 PM
She hasn't got a leg to stand on
Heather Mills McCartney has set up a campaign web site and online petition to "fight for responsible journalism" and a new privacy law. She hasn't, however, made any sort of complaint to the Press Complaints Commission, which is what you...
Posted by slowdown at 10:33 PM
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Thursday | 27 September 2007 | 01:06 AM
This just in
I'm two weeks into a 6-month course in newspaper journalism at Brighton City College. It was all a bit last minute, and I'm not 100% certain how its going to tie-in with freelancing, but it seems to be working out....
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Monday | 20 August 2007 | 08:59 AM
Course Correction
Emily has complained that slow|afternoon is becoming nothing but political rants; to make up for this unfortunate development, here is a cute picture:...
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Friday | 10 August 2007 | 01:20 PM
Daa da-da-da daa da-da de dumdumdumdum!!!
I was in the Simpson's Movie but they cut my scenes. God damn you, Groening!!!...
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Monday | 30 July 2007 | 10:14 AM
Political Therapy
When I'm on a downswing, I find it bizarrely therapeutic to curl up with my boxed set of the West Wing. It somehow restores my faith in the world. I know it's a liberal fantasy, but still, the writing is...
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Wednesday | 25 July 2007 | 10:01 PM
Shorely you can't be serious
Rowan came to visit today. She wanted to go to the beach for a swim. For most people this would be more than a little odd, but Rowan's a performance artist and such spontaneous acts of aquaticism are an important...
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Thursday | 19 July 2007 | 05:25 PM
Flower Bed
Jack recovers from a hard morning's lying around by taking a quick catnap near the catnip. The life of an English country cat is not to be sniffed at....
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Wednesday | 18 July 2007 | 11:19 PM
Casus Belli delivered to order?
UPDATE: No, not at all. It's just a mains explosion, thank god, and hopefully no-one hurt. I do apologise. How paranoid am I?! Original hysterical reaction tucked away below....
Posted by slowdown at 11:19 PM
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Thursday | 12 July 2007 | 11:33 PM
Strumpet Queen
This is the mystery cat that's been padding about in our garden for the last few days, throwing weird shapes and making the strangest gurgling miaowing noise. Turns out she's in heat, and is trying to get her claws...
Posted by slowdown at 11:33 PM
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Tuesday | 10 July 2007 | 06:08 AM
Yawning Sky
It's nice to be up early. Except when you haven't been to bed yet. Yawn. I have got to get me some of that crazy circadian rhythm everyone keeps talking about....
Posted by slowdown at 6:08 AM
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Saturday | 30 June 2007 | 03:34 AM
60% Geek, 32% Fat, 7% Gristle, 1% Tar.
I am pleased and proud. Take the test....
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Thursday | 28 June 2007 | 01:14 PM
Jacqui Smith
The surprise appointment in Gordon Brown's new cabinet is Jacqui Smith (who she?) as Home Secretary. As happy as I am to see the first woman in the post, any hopes I had that she might represent a break...
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Monday | 25 June 2007 | 03:25 AM
LOLphilosophers
Posted by slowdown at 3:25 AM
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Friday | 11 May 2007 | 12:10 AM
Shallow sanctimonious twazzak triumphantly limps away from his squandered opportunities and his bare-faced lies
So he's finally going. I'm standing by my earlier post....
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Thursday | 3 May 2007 | 10:31 PM
On the horns of a dilemma
Went on a walk on Monday. Not only did I manage to get sunburn in April, I also got menaced by cattle....
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Friday | 20 April 2007 | 11:35 PM
Why do I do this every day?
This has been painted on a fence on the southbound M40 for years now. I've always liked it and finally got a pic when I came back from a weekend in Manchester. Originally I found it funny 'cos I...
Posted by slowdown at 11:35 PM
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Thursday | 19 April 2007 | 11:17 PM
Ahem
I would just like to say that I have nothing to say, and am not entirely sure that I ever have. Although, as I understand it, this is no obstacle to publishing a blog......
Posted by slowdown at 11:17 PM
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Tuesday | 10 April 2007 | 12:59 AM
Nothing says Easter like a headstone
I was browsing the Internet for some graphics when I came across the funniest collection of images for sale I've ever seen. It just gets weirder and weirder....
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Wednesday | 4 April 2007 | 10:03 PM
Slough of despond now 20% more sloughy and despondent
A combination of computer maintenance and general bad temper is keeping me quiet. If anyone wants me, I'll be over here....
Posted by slowdown at 10:03 PM
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Thursday | 8 March 2007 | 11:28 PM
I'll be Green with a small 'g' thanks
Sat in front of Question Time, I now feel more depressed than ever about UK politics. I've just written this letter to the Green Party: Dear [Name], Thank you for your recent letter inviting me to renew my membership to...
Posted by slowdown at 11:28 PM
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Three short obituaries
Dear John "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!" (or something like that) General bigotry gets his marching orders "He believed in calling a spade a spade." Avenger disassembled "Surrender?! Do you think...
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Wednesday | 28 February 2007 | 05:38 PM
Busy, busy, busy
No updates this week, as I am as busy as a busy little bee. Or is that buzzy? I don't have time to think about it. I'm too busy and important....
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Friday | 23 February 2007 | 09:04 PM
You've been warned
This is really just a test post to verify that Image::Magick is working (you won't believe what a struggle it's been; Stephan has had to teach our new host how to perform basic support tasks from scratch) but why...
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Wednesday | 21 February 2007 | 10:25 PM
The Long Man of Wilmington
Last Friday, Rowan and I went to see the Long Man (or Lanky Man) of Wilmington in East Sussex. And very impressive he was too. Very little is known about him - I'd rather assumed that he dated back...
Posted by slowdown at 10:25 PM
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Monday | 5 February 2007 | 01:49 PM
Jack: half-cat, half-wolf, all psychopath.
My attempts to befriend Julia's cat, Jack, are not meeting with great success. He trusts no-one. Unless he's already curled up in his chair, he bolts at the slightest noise or approach. Not only is he constantly surprised to...
Posted by slowdown at 1:49 PM
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Saturday | 3 February 2007 | 09:33 PM
Sussex Sunset
Sunset this evening on top of Bury Hill, for those of you that like that sort of thing. I'm in the middle of migrating the glory that is slow|afternoon to a new and just as dubious host, so forgive...
Posted by slowdown at 9:33 PM
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Thursday | 25 January 2007 | 09:16 PM
All change
An overdue update. Apologies to anyone I've not got back to or kept in touch with properly over the last few months - your comments and emails were very much appreciated. Julia's funeral service was held two weeks after she...
Posted by slowdown at 9:16 PM
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Wednesday | 24 January 2007 | 09:47 AM
A bit of snow
At the third stroke, the time sponsored by Accurist will be winter....
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Is it too much to hope for a crucifixion?
I'll bring a hammer if you bring the nails. I suppose that's what I get for looking straight at The Sun...
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Friday | 17 November 2006 | 10:41 PM
Worthing Pier
Went to Worthing with Andrew yesterday so he could sign on, and spent an hour or so walking around the town. British seaside towns always give me the creeps, I don't know why....
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Tuesday | 14 November 2006 | 12:26 PM
Snigger. Eek. Slurp.
This was one clever little mouse. I say 'was' because although Jack was outwitted, he wasn't outdone. One leopardly leap later, Mr Mouse was on his way to Tummy Town....
Posted by slowdown at 12:26 PM
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Friday | 6 October 2006 | 01:35 AM
Squalor and a gentleman (or 'This Just Ingested')
One of the worst sides of being in a slump is the sudden and total surrender to sugar, cakes and chocolate. At the moment the crumpled wrapping of an entire bar of Green & Black's Raisin and Hazelnut is glaring...
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Monday | 2 October 2006 | 02:34 PM
Going pink for October
As the owner - not so much proud, as resigned - of a burgeoning pair of manboobs, and an avid supporter of breasts in (and on) women, I am supporting breast cancer awareness by going pink for October. I...
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Tuesday | 26 September 2006 | 02:39 PM
"I'd like to thank my family, my agent..."
Despite the nauseating oscar-acceptance he opened with, I have to admit that Tony Blair's speech was pretty impressive. Reminds me why I used to like him so much. If not for Iraq......
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Thursday | 21 September 2006 | 12:25 PM
Cat Nap
That's it. I've had enough. I want to be a cat. How is anyone meant to get on with their work when their co-workers are lounging around in the sun like this?...
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Wednesday | 20 September 2006 | 01:34 PM
Where are the reasonable Muslims?
I'm no fan of Pope Benedict. After all, he looks like a Sith Lord in summer uniform and has the cold, dead eyes of a killer. But given the torrent of uninformed outrage and unrestrained bile that has come...
Posted by slowdown at 1:34 PM
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Monday | 18 September 2006 | 04:10 PM
Too sunny to work
I'm down in Sussex at the moment and the weather's glorious. I've spent most of the day at the kitchen table gazing out at the South Downs, and just realised that I've done practically nothing today. Oh well. It's...
Posted by slowdown at 4:10 PM
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Saturday | 9 September 2006 | 04:01 AM
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?
"The moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle; The moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down." ~ Alanis Morrisette, 'Thank U'...
Posted by slowdown at 4:01 AM
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Friday | 8 September 2006 | 11:27 PM
Celebrating 30 years of gallant buffoonery
Well, I turned thirty today. Hip, hip and all that. For he's a jolly good fellow. Several happy returns et cetera, et cetera. Ahem. An eventful year all in all, what with being diagnosed with bipolar, quitting drinking*, and finally...
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Thursday | 24 August 2006 | 11:52 PM
Sink or Swim (or flail about madly without actually managing to do either).
This is how life is looking at the moment. I know I'm not the only one. Er...yes, I think I will take those armbands after all." Thank god for the long weekend. I shall be doing very little for as...
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Monday | 21 August 2006 | 10:02 PM
This apocalypse is brought to you by religious fundamentalists and political simpletons
Good lord. It sounds as if they've got it right this time. That would be a welcome change. Bomb making equipment, martyrdom videos...sounds pretty convincing. I want to believe it, and I suppose, on balance, I do. But I can't...
Posted by slowdown at 10:02 PM
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Wednesday | 16 August 2006 | 10:56 PM
Air Farce
Is it just me, or is anyone else being reduced to helpless laughter by almost every single new headline emerging from last week's foiled terrorist plot and subsequent travel chaos? '10,000 bags lost' - hilarious. 'Small boy evades maximum security...
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Thursday | 3 August 2006 | 11:02 PM
Let the wonders begin
I'm buying a house!...
Posted by slowdown at 11:02 PM
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Let the heartache begin
I'm buying a house....
Posted by slowdown at 10:53 PM
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Monday | 24 July 2006 | 11:27 PM
All aboard the HMS Schadenfreude
As unseemly as my glee may be, I'd like to report that I have been vindicated. When I resigned from my last job, albeit as an exhausted and embittered shell, I said that others would follow suit. And so they...
Posted by slowdown at 11:27 PM
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Friday | 7 July 2006 | 12:13 PM
Does what it says on the van
How refreshingly straightforward....
Posted by slowdown at 12:13 PM
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Tuesday | 23 May 2006 | 10:42 PM
They thought they were free
"What happened here was the gradual habituation of the people, little by little, to being governed by surprise; to receiving decisions deliberated in secret; to believing that the situation was so complicated that the government had to act on...
Posted by slowdown at 10:42 PM
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Sunday | 21 May 2006 | 05:49 PM
The pink mist descends
Three weeks into my new job and I was 'mandated' to attend a corporate funday (sic). Normally I'd balk at such an idea, but given that everyone in the company works from home and there are few opportunities to...
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Tuesday | 9 May 2006 | 11:12 PM
The Ghost on Sandy Lane
Inspired by Wodge's collection of Manchester graffiti, I finally got round to snapping this fine example of the genre, which never fails to scare the life out of me when I round the corner at night and catch it...
Posted by slowdown at 11:12 PM
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Thursday | 4 May 2006 | 02:39 PM
To summerise...
Angel Meadow Park ...I hereby declare this Summer open....
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Wednesday | 3 May 2006 | 06:54 PM
It's not easy being green
Somehow I've ended up as a candidate in tomorrow's local elections. Strange the way things happen....
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Tuesday | 2 May 2006 | 07:19 PM
My brain is full
Today was the first day of my new job. It's an easy commute, seeing as I'm working from home, and the work seems interesting. But talk about information overload. I have strained all my thinking muscles, and they weren't in...
Posted by slowdown at 7:19 PM
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Sunday | 23 April 2006 | 05:17 AM
Triptych
from Harper's web site....
Posted by slowdown at 5:17 AM
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Saturday | 22 April 2006 | 04:11 PM
The answer, I'm afraid, is 'No'.
But thanks for asking....
Posted by slowdown at 4:11 PM
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Monday | 10 April 2006 | 07:07 AM
April Snow
What the...??!?!? Pulled another all nighter in an attempt to fend off the continuing advances of the Insomnia Fairy. By the looks of it I'm not the only one whose natural rhythms are deeply disturbed....
Posted by slowdown at 7:07 AM
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Thursday | 23 March 2006 | 05:18 AM
Insomnia. Again.
Once more the Insomnia Fairy has come over and beat me round the head with her wand of wakefulness. Silly bitch. It's not the lack of sleep I object to, it's the sodding tiredness. Gorilla yawning, copyright 1991 philg[at]mit.edu...
Posted by slowdown at 5:18 AM
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Tuesday | 21 March 2006 | 01:28 PM
Tony Blair: Liar. Scoundrel. Cheat.
As Matthew Parris has so articulately pointed out, Tony Blair is a pathological liar, whether he's in control of it or not. The perfect liar, in fact - so committed to whatever lie he's peddling at the time that he...
Posted by slowdown at 1:28 PM
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Wednesday | 1 March 2006 | 04:15 PM
Suspension suspended
"I've been rude to journalists all my life and they richly deserve it." Hooray, hooray, hooray. I was so angry when this all blew up last year, and even more incensed when the complaint was upheld. As far as...
Posted by slowdown at 4:15 PM
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Tuesday | 21 February 2006 | 11:04 PM
They've got the look.
It's 11.10pm. I'm drunk, I'm listening to Roxette, and I'm laughing my arse off. St-St-St-StudioLine, from L'Oreal. Walking like a man, Hitting like a hammer, She's a juvenile scam, Never was a quitter, Tasted like a raindrop, She's got...
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Saturday | 21 January 2006 | 02:44 PM
You don't want to be like me
It is a measure of my boredom this Saturday afternoon that I have just transcribed the scat duel between Baloo and King Louie: Baloo: Heeeeey! Dazap-bam-roney! Hapdediggle dap de dap-dan-rone! ...aand de baby dat-du-sabba too-de-days, doo-bop, de-boo-de-days, ze-bone, ze-bap-bap-babby....
Posted by slowdown at 2:44 PM
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Saturday | 7 January 2006 | 06:10 PM
Why I want to be a cat
...
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Thursday | 5 January 2006 | 09:10 PM
You're a good man, Charlie Kennedy
Whether he survives this or not, I like Charles Kennedy. And unless Menzies Campbell or Shirley Williams put themselves forward, there's no-one who could convincingly take over from him. Simon Hughes? Susan Kramer? Please. Put up or shut up....
Posted by slowdown at 9:10 PM
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Monday | 17 October 2005 | 12:14 AM
World's Stupidest Sunday Evening Viewing
Ah. Sheriff John Burnell. What a legend. Read this, and watch this. If you're bored....
Posted by slowdown at 12:14 AM
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